My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
