i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
