you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
His hands were made for my vagina.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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