We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Randomize
