Is it because I queefed?
Farmville is her only friend.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
