I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
