Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
