dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Barsexuality is the new black.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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