My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
