Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
