yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She even gives head with a lisp.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
