I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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