Umm I'm too high to move.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize