I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
