I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
