Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
