Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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