so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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