you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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