worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
