It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I didn't notice because vodka
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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