So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
