Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
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