so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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