Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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