yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
