Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
