I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
