I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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