Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
