Moan for me like Helen Keller
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
