I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
