She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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