This is not my ceiling
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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