just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
