I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
