I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
