all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
