I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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