Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
