Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Green mimosas i think yes
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
