During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My dick has a subreddit
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
