you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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