Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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