Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize