yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
