and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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