Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
