Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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