I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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