so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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