Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
