My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
