Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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