So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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