I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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