I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
