Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
be right there i have to get my cape
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
