your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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