i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
