Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
