my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
pray to the hookup gods
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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