Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
