Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize