And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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