put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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