every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
