if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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