she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
