please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
