We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
