Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
